The Need to Be Different

Right now I’m in the middle of deliberately trying to die my hair unevenly.  In it’s current state, I am in the middle of a 60 minute color process (no ammonia), but I can’t let ANYTHING touch this color or it will be permanently stained.  Trust me.  I’ve used this color before with the Harley Quinn hairstyle.  It’s dangerous.

As to why I’m doing this… I’m tired of boring color.  Or, boring hair, that is.  And I have plenty of color depositing conditioners and masks to keep red up, but nothing ever gets me as bright of a red than this stuff.  I’m hoping I don’t overdo it and make it look exactly the same as it was before.  If that happens, I’m giving up.  For at least a month.

I’m not sure why, but I think it’s some kind of a psychological need for me to be different in some way.  I’ve always needed a way to stand out.  And while tattoos are a great form of expression, everyone has them.  So I’ve always relied on my hair to be the thing I can change to look just a bit different (or a lot different… like the blue faux hawk).  When I was working I was always contained by color, but I’d always get some kind of different cut that I could still work in.  The only time I was ever within the realm of “normal” was my first couple of years at my first REAL job after college.

I also find myself changing color or style (mostly color) when I’m on a manic upswing.  I know before I saw my doctor last week, I was definitely headed towards one (or as high as I can go while on these meds).  He changed dosages and timings on things and I immediately crashed because the new changes made me SO tired.  But it brought me away from the helicopter blades to the high setting on a ceiling fan.  So, still on an upswing, but greatly reduced.  To be honest, I envy people who can live off their meds.

I’m still not even remotely close for the hair to be done, but I think I’ve written something.  Trying to do something to keep my mind occupied, and writing is one of those things.

Tomorrow, we start our weekly posts.



About I.V.

38 year old woman with Schizoaffective, Bipolar type. I'm also intelligent, mostly positive, fandom junkie. Oh, and I have two cats: Zim and Gir... they're 13. So... fandom junkie? Ah, yes. Supernatural, Merlin, Buffy tvs, Angel the series, LOTR, Harry Potter, old x-files. I also like anime and and Manga. farvorite anime? Vampire Knight... and it cannot be dubbed! I also like plenty of others, I think of Elfin Leid when I say that... oh, and Blood+. Favorite Manga? Junjou Romantica, Vampire Knight, Loveless, Gravitation. I like the anime for these as well if they have it. Books: Dune, Good Omens, HP, LOTR, The Hunger Games, Wicked, the Southern Vampire Series, Snow Crash, American Gods, Pride and Prejudice, comics. Movies: The Boondock Saints, LOTR, HP series, Girl Interupted, SLC Punk, Walk Hard: the Dewie Cox Story, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Foxfire, Empire Records, Star Wars (only episodes 4-6), Iron Man (both of them), Thor (1&2), The Avengers Video Games: Dragon Age 1,2 and Inquisition, Kingdoms of Amalur, Little Big Planet, Star Ocean. I also love watching other people play Mass Effect, Dead Space and all the above mentioned games Oh, and I love Sushi :)
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4 Responses to The Need to Be Different

  1. I still need to find time to drive to WC to get my nose pierced. It’s really just having the energy and money at the same time lol. I just bought a new wig. It’s the same color, but it’s a bob, because the one I have now is long and it’s hot as hell still.


  2. Harley Quinn says:

    I so want to get a tragus piercing… just on one ear. I have no idea how much it would cost, though, and HR is more expensive than most places.

    The wig sounds cute! I love bobs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I remember paying $50 for mine when I got it, but I don’t know how much it costs now. They are, but I also trust them and know it’s a clean, reputable shop. With tattoos I paid $50 for my wrists, $80 for my forearm, and the most expensive one was the ankle at $150 I think? I gave Doug $200 and it’s hard to remember what was the price and what I included for tip.


  4. Harley Quinn says:

    I know they’re clean and all that. I got my nipples done there, though, and they’re horribly uneven. It’s hard to mess up a one ear piercing, though, I suppose.


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