Right now I’m in the middle of deliberately trying to die my hair unevenly. In it’s current state, I am in the middle of a 60 minute color process (no ammonia), but I can’t let ANYTHING touch this color or it will be permanently stained. Trust me. I’ve used this color before with the Harley Quinn hairstyle. It’s dangerous.
As to why I’m doing this… I’m tired of boring color. Or, boring hair, that is. And I have plenty of color depositing conditioners and masks to keep red up, but nothing ever gets me as bright of a red than this stuff. I’m hoping I don’t overdo it and make it look exactly the same as it was before. If that happens, I’m giving up. For at least a month.
I’m not sure why, but I think it’s some kind of a psychological need for me to be different in some way. I’ve always needed a way to stand out. And while tattoos are a great form of expression, everyone has them. So I’ve always relied on my hair to be the thing I can change to look just a bit different (or a lot different… like the blue faux hawk). When I was working I was always contained by color, but I’d always get some kind of different cut that I could still work in. The only time I was ever within the realm of “normal” was my first couple of years at my first REAL job after college.
I also find myself changing color or style (mostly color) when I’m on a manic upswing. I know before I saw my doctor last week, I was definitely headed towards one (or as high as I can go while on these meds). He changed dosages and timings on things and I immediately crashed because the new changes made me SO tired. But it brought me away from the helicopter blades to the high setting on a ceiling fan. So, still on an upswing, but greatly reduced. To be honest, I envy people who can live off their meds.
I’m still not even remotely close for the hair to be done, but I think I’ve written something. Trying to do something to keep my mind occupied, and writing is one of those things.
Tomorrow, we start our weekly posts.