I’ve helped create stigma too

I’m always talking about how we need to fight the stigma that goes along with mental illness. I’ve experienced this stigma first hand as well. And I do fight it. Then comes this…

I have what one may call a severe mental illness. I take 7 medications to function, and praise the Lord that my antipsychotics are keeping a strong hold on my psychosis. I also feel like that for my mood stabilizers.

So, if I find out about someone who may be more “crazy” than me (I know… I hate that term too), I want to tell everyone. I want other people to experience the shame I have felt for years.

I should have become their ally. I should help them along their journey. I should be a major part of their support. Why I wasn’t any of these?  Pure selfishness. Like I said before… I didn’t want to be the “crazy” person if at all possible.  When I find someone with an illness that is stigmatized more than mine, I run with it.

To whoever I’ve done this to, or other friends of people I have done this to… the only thing to say is: I’m sorry. And I know it’s not enough.

I’m trying to go for a graduate degree in psychology. I know it will be hard for me… I’m not going to kid myself. But I feel that it is necessary. And one day I might try rebuilding a bridge that I burned to the ground. Until then, I will be very conscious of my words and actions, and I will do everything to fight the stigma and not feed into it. 

About I.V.

38 year old woman with Schizoaffective, Bipolar type. I'm also intelligent, mostly positive, fandom junkie. Oh, and I have two cats: Zim and Gir... they're 13. So... fandom junkie? Ah, yes. Supernatural, Merlin, Buffy tvs, Angel the series, LOTR, Harry Potter, old x-files. I also like anime and and Manga. farvorite anime? Vampire Knight... and it cannot be dubbed! I also like plenty of others, I think of Elfin Leid when I say that... oh, and Blood+. Favorite Manga? Junjou Romantica, Vampire Knight, Loveless, Gravitation. I like the anime for these as well if they have it. Books: Dune, Good Omens, HP, LOTR, The Hunger Games, Wicked, the Southern Vampire Series, Snow Crash, American Gods, Pride and Prejudice, comics. Movies: The Boondock Saints, LOTR, HP series, Girl Interupted, SLC Punk, Walk Hard: the Dewie Cox Story, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Foxfire, Empire Records, Star Wars (only episodes 4-6), Iron Man (both of them), Thor (1&2), The Avengers Video Games: Dragon Age 1,2 and Inquisition, Kingdoms of Amalur, Little Big Planet, Star Ocean. I also love watching other people play Mass Effect, Dead Space and all the above mentioned games Oh, and I love Sushi :)
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